Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn about your standard travel itineraries.
I’ve stamped my passport in plenty of places, but I’ve never actually been In Kahoots.
Apparently, it’s a package tour situation—you can’t go solo.
You have to be in Kahoots with someone else, and frankly, I’ve seen your choices in travel partners.
No thanks. We’ll always have Paris, but I’ll happily skip the drama of Kahoots.
I’ve also never visited In Cognito. I hear the locals don’t even recognize you there.
It’s the perfect place to hide from “friends” who only call when they want a free review or a link back to their failing business.
As Greta Garbo said, “I want to be alone,” and honestly, with most of you, I really do.
Driven to In Sane
I have, however, spent significant time In Sane.
There’s no direct flight; you have to be driven there by the sheer incompetence of people, grabby kids, and work deadlines that were due yesterday.
Fasten your seatbelts, it’s always a bumpy night—and no, there are no snacks on this ride.
Make a Decision, It’s Easy
I recently tried to visit In Decision, but I couldn’t decide which shoes to wear.
I just stood there looking at the mirror like, “Ready for my close-up,” until I realized the only thing getting a close-up was my grey hair.
So I stayed home. So sue me!
Jumping to Conclusions
I’d love to visit In Conclusions, but the only way in is to jump.
My current level of physical activity involves walking to the fridge to see if the sambal has grown legs. Jumping? In this economy?
“Tomorrow is another day,” and I’ll probably be just as lazy then.
Suffer the Pretty Ones
I also spent a brief, disastrous weekend In Digestion.
It’s a very spicy neighborhood, usually visited after I ignore my own advice and eat that extra pedas Penang Hokkien Mee at 11 AM to beat the lunch crowds.
“Houston, we have a problem,” and that problem currently requires an antacid and a prayer.
Stand Firm or Be In Flexible
I’ve briefly stayed In Flexible, but only when it was absolutely vital that I stand firm against people asking for “collaboration” in exchange for “exposure.”
You have to ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”
Well, do ya, punk? Because my bank account definitely doesn’t feel lucky with your “free” offers.
Unless my electricity company starts accepting ‘cafe points’ as legal tender, I’m passing.
And to the brand expecting me to be their unpaid event organizer just to gain loyalty points?
Hard pass. My friends have better things to do, and so do I.
In Capable: The Last to Know
These days, I find myself In Capable more often than I’d like.
It’s an age thing. I look in the mirror and think, “You talkin’ to me?” because I certainly don’t remember inviting this many wrinkles to the party.
They didn’t RSVP; they just showed up and started a permanent residency.
And like all women, we’re the last to know when the man cheats!
My lawyer friend was a telling about that whole “Pickleball” saga, that got her more clients. Turns out the only thing being served was a side of betrayal.
In Suspense: The Only Thrill Left
But my favorite destination? Being In Suspense!
It gets the adrenaline pumping and the heart jumping. “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world,” I had to walk into this one just to see how the drama ends.
In Continent: Geography of Memory Loss
I might have been In Continent once, but I can’t remember which country that was in.
They tell me it’s quite wet and damp there—probably just the Penang humidity ruining my hair again.
“Here’s looking at you, kid”—but honestly, keep the glasses.
Just read the bill out loud to me; I can’t be bothered to squint at the fine print anyway.
Life is too short for petty nonsense. Laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly (or don’t!) mostly because by next week, you won’t even remember why you were annoyed in the first place.
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